We have all been evolving since our early childhood with emotional wounds that follow us in the shadows like ghosts. Until the day when, for one reason or another, you lose your balance. A shock, a sadness, a huge tiredness, etc. And there, the ghost comes out of the shadow, arrives in the light and persecutes you. When I say that the ghost comes out of the shadows, I simply mean that your problems come back suddenly with their lots of suffering while you thought that all this was settled for good.
Emotional wounds can be diverse. The main ones are rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice.
I will try to give you short, succinct definitions with my words because I think that if you really want to delve deeper into one or more topics in particular, the internet is very good and you will find specialists who study all this in detail. For my part, I will simply summarize what is important to me about these wounds.
Rejection reflects a deep loneliness that makes you stick to an affective or relational situation that brought you down. You need to isolate yourself to escape what has brought you suffering. As a result you look down on yourself and do not accept when you are complimented. There is here necessarily a wound in your past which prevents you from moving forward. The feeling of rejection can make you feel a lack of love, affection and tenderness since your childhood. You feel destabilized, suffer from emotional emptiness, and unconsciously turn toward people who are like you.
If you want to go deeper into the subject of rejection, I recommend a very nice book by Lise Bourbeau, “the wounds that prevent you from being yourself”.
The fear of abandonment is very often linked to traumas that occurred early in life. Very often these traumas occurred during the early childhood. But unfortunately, these continue to distil daily poisons to the person who suffers. It interferes, of course, in his or her love life but also in professional and family life. It can be a separation, mourning of a person or a divorce. It may be fear that dad or mom will leave one day. The reaction to this kind of event can be very different depending on the character of each. Some people will react very well, the trauma will follow its course and be delt way with naturally, but for others, the same event may then cause a real cataclysm. Fear of abandonment is a reality and can be characterized by the fear of being rejected again.
There are therapies to help you identify origins such as psychoanalysis, hypnosis, and if you have an opening of consciousness, the magnetizer can do it with you too.
Humiliation is not an emotion in itself. I think it’s more a wound to our self-esteem. Humiliation can be inflicted on us by someone from outside or we can inflict it on ourselves. It is often accompanied by a feeling of shame and it often triggers anger, revolt or aggression. One thing is certain, this emotional state leaves a deep trace inside us. We can feel mediocre, ridiculous and anything we do feels bad. And even if we receive compliments that should bring some satisfaction, the feeling of humiliation is much stronger and it takes over.
Humiliation can happen often in your daily lives because many people are unable to communicate except by humiliating others as they have often been from their childhood. Thus, in the adult state, they reproduce this pattern not thinking of harming the person in front of them.
I would say that to better manage this suffering, it is should be enough to know oneself and and our own value. HoweverI know from experience, because it is the case of people who come to my office, that people need help to overcome humiliation and the process can be difficult at times.
“Of all the suffering a human being can experience, treason is without doubt one of those that leaves the deepest scars. “
I read this statement in an article recently. To my view this may apply to every trauma: Whatever the wound is, it leaves inevitably a deep trace. Of course, treason implies disillusionment and loss of confidence. With, for example, the end of a sentimental relationship, the mourning of certain dreams and unrealized projects. All of this creates a negative impact that will darken self-esteem and often bring harsh judgment we can make toward ourselves. We then question ourselves, we have pain, anger or both.
Some therapists can tell you “trust, that everything that happens is for the greater good.” “Return to a state of love rather than remain in this state of suffering. ”
I’m not sure that the people who wrote these lines really experienced this hurting one day. [I would not put this sentence. It does not add anything positive.]
Some people get angry with and disturbed by injustice. . When some are wrongly accused of something they have not done, for example, or are victims of inequality, they have strong reaction to this injustice and it causes them great pain. In the same way, when some of us witness a particularly unjust and violent scene, they feel deeply hurt. It feels to them like a personal attack because their deep inner values are challenged.
Many of us consider justice to be a sacred thing, we react as if we were a holy knight. However there may be personal reasons that that prompt such reactions. It is possible that during your childhood you were victim of injustice within your family or elsewhere and that you reproduce exactly the same pattern. A memory comes up which causes you to react disproportionately and to lose your balance.
There is nothing wrong in reacting and wanting to help others, far from it, but there is no reason to to lose one’s calm and to be carried away in a series of reactions making you lose your balance.
One thing is certain for me, even if you must heal your own patterns of injustice, continue to help those in need, enforce their rights, and not allow them to be abused by malicious people.
I have tried to give you a small partial overview of each of these wounds which in my opinion prevent us from being fully and freely ourselves. Often these wounds direct our lives and reactions without our noticing it. Feel free to get rid of it and know that there is no shame and embarrassment to ask for help if you feel that a pattern or some injury is blocking you. Your soul often only expects that. Then there are therapists, doctors, specialists, hypnotists, kinesiologists and magnetizers to help you regain that state of serenity that we all have deep inside us.